Falling in Love and Falling Out of Love
Falling in love is good only when you fall in love with the right person at the right time, no matter the location. But as humans are often challenged by both foreseen and unforeseen circumstances, you cannot predict if your love will pass the test of time.
Falling in love is most common among youths. But in most cases, what they are really experiencing is not true love, but infatuation or longing for romantic companionship.
Infatuations are common when we are growing up and having childhood sweethearts, a dream girl or dream man and as young adults in their late teens grow older they begin to outgrow these infatuations as they become fully grown men and women. But in many cases, they would have been through both good and bad experiences that if not well handled would affect them for the rest of their lives. Bad experiences such as physical or psychological abuses could make them traumatized and stigmatized for years. Peer pressure does more harm than good to young adults as they do things to impress their peers in covetousness and competition, posing and posturing from high school to college and even carry on with their artificial airs and graces until they grow old. Their insecurities often end up in aggression or depression at home, on the street or workplace. They later reminisce over “might-have-been” with apologies and regrets. But then the damage has already been done and the nightmare will haunt them for life. So, the sooner you realize these facts of life and face the realities, the better, healthier and safer you would be. Prevention is better than cure. So, before you fall in love, check out all the pros and cons and weigh all the options for today and the future. Ponder over it again and again, because, this decision can make you or break you. Think twice or even thrice before you are finally convinced that you are truly in love and not in lust. Okay?
A girl wants to have her own boyfriend simply to prove that she is not left out or she is also in the know too or for the fun of the romantic and erotic experience. It is all biology!
A boy wants to prove his manhood and thinks having sex will prove a point to his peers. And his attraction to a pretty and sexy girl or woman is mistaken for “falling in love” when it is actually falling in lust. Simple animal instinct!
Falling in love is not a game.
Young adults experiment with sex, drugs, etc; to live up to the Joneses of their own peers and in most cases they throw caution to the winds as they are sowing their wild oats. But they could be marred or scarred by the consequences or repercussions of these careless high-risk acts of romance.
How many teenage lovers marry and remain married?
Many cases of divorce have been traced to immature and insecure couples.
WHY DO PEOPLE FALL OUT OF LOVE?
Falling out of love is most common among youths.
Falling truly in love is a sacrifice. You are taking a plunge and with all the risks too. But when the sacrifice is not appreciated by the beneficiary of your love, you feel disappointed and would want healing of your broken or wounded heart. You may seek healing from another companion, such as a new male or female attraction to fulfill your physical or psychological gratification or consolation, comfort yourself, fill up your emptiness, end your loneliness, etc.
If you truly fall in love with someone and later you notice things you would not approve in your relationship or marriage, such as flaws, faults, shortcomings, likes and dislikes, etc, be honest and sincere to point them out and address them for your mutual benefit and correct all the “correctables” and boycott all the “boycottables” and seek solutions to the problems and find the answers to all the hard questions. Do not be afraid to ask questions and face the demons or fire spitting dragons of life.
If you do not conquer your fears, your fears will conquer you.
Express your fears and also shed your tears too.
Honesty is still the best policy in every human relationship.
If you can no longer bear or tolerate him or her, simply and politely say so and QUIT.
What matters most in every relationship are two things, HAPPINESS AND SECURITY?
Are you happy and are you secure?
If you are not happy and secure, let your lover or spouse know WHY?
If you truly love him or her, you would really do your best to help make him or her happy and secure.
Do not hide your feelings.
Do not pretend to be happy.
Do not pretend to be secure.
Be honest and be sincere.
Do not base your falling in love with someone on selfish reasons?
Why are you in love?
What is the attraction?
If the good looks, good job, the posh car or SUV, and chic pad are the attractions, then my dear, you are not really in love and would sooner or later fall out of love when your excitement over these material and perishable things begins to wane.
When you want to fall in love, look for imperishable, things that would last and pass the test of time, come rain or shine.
Fall for the person that would add value to your life.
Fall for the person that would bring out the best in you even if you pass through the fire of temptation, trials and tribulations of the vicissitudes of life.
True love is not like gold, for gold will rust.
True love is like diamond. And diamond is diamond, rough or smooth. And that is why diamonds are forever.
~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima
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